De-escalation scripts
In each of the HATE STiNKS videos, the teenager who commits a hateful antisemitic act is rejected by his peers (in one video, even his parents reject the stink ball!).
What can we do to make sure we don’t turn into stink balls?
What to say instead of walking away
Walking away is sometimes necessary for safety, but if you feel safe, “airing it out” with words is powerful. Here are three different approaches:
The "Impact" Statement
Focus on the result, not the person’s character.
“You might think that’s a joke, but it’s actually a really old hate symbol. It makes this school feel unsafe for a lot of people.”
The "Educational" Question
Make them think about their source.
“Why would you want to repeat something like that? Do you actually know the history behind those words?”
The "Standard" Setter
Remind them of the group’s values.
“We don’t do that here. That’s not how we treat people in this class.”
Why is the person acting this way?
They might be seeking attention:
Sometimes kids use “shocking” language or symbols because they want to feel powerful or get a reaction.
They might be misinformed
They may have seen something on online, or even from their own circle, and are repeating it without understanding that it is hateful.
How they feel inside
Often, people who act out with hate are feeling insecure. They try to “push others down” to make themselves feel like they are “on top” or part of an “in-group.”
How to help the person who acted out change
If the person is a friend, you can offer them a way back:
The "Invite to Do Better"
“I know you’re smarter than that joke. Let’s just drop the hate stuff and go play [game].”
L'invitation à faire mieux
« Je sais que tu es plus intelligent que cette blague-là. On laisse tomber la haine et on va jouer à [nom du jeu]? »